post traumatic trauma

Just when we were starting to get past the trauma of our second son's early arrival, into the groove of our new "adventure", and beginning to feel somewhat rested... we were awakened this morning at 4:45 by an intruder in our home. The great news is that no one was harmed and nothing was taken, and we are feeling God's protection on our family. The bad news is that this counts as another traumatic event in our lives. And it turns out that trauma, no matter how it takes its form, is really exhausting. I just tried to take a nap for the second time today, and my body wouldn't let me. I woke up from what little sleep I did get, completely weak, all the way down to my toes.
I am reminded of several things-- 1. My weakness (physically, emotionally, etc...) is evidence of my need for God's Strength. 2. God's Strength is beyond sufficient for my weakness. 3. We're really learning what that means!
Not to overspiritualize things, but I really do feel that God is keeping us safe in His Strong Arms... and that it's ok to be weak as we trust Him to keep us in His Strong Arms no matter what comes our way. Though this incident has truly touched at the core of my fears, I just keep thinking of all of the ways He prepared us for and protected us through this trauma.... including using my fears to drive us to have a conversation last night on our way home from visiting Kyren, about what we would do if we ever found ourselves in a situation where someone was in our house in the middle of the night! I said that fear would paralyze me... Dave said that fear gives him adrenaline-- that he would get his Louisville Slugger (which he just brought up from the basement earlier this week and placed by his side of the bed!!) and defend our home... while i called 911. So when this scenario actually played out a few hours later (!), that is exactly what we did. It freaks me out, and brings me to my knees before a Sovereign God, who knew exactly what was coming, and graciously gave us the tools (via my fears) to do what needed to be done. Not many intruders have the courtesy to come into your house and turn on your lights so you can see them snooping around your livingroom, from the bedroom. But this one did! And while I only have a small view of the livingroom from where i sleep (the way our bed is positioned, and when our bedroom door is open) it was enough to see him walk across to the couch and look in Dave's jacket... which Dave had the courtesy to leave on the couch.
God gave Dave the clarity of mind to sneak up on the guy with his bat, but rather than strike him, yelled, and the guy bolted down the basement stairs and out the door. We consider this a major gift of mercy, both to us and the intruder -- as anything could have transpired in those moments. Neither of us saw his face, which is a really nice post-traumatic plus, even though it doesn't help the police. And though he got away without consequence, we pray that this event would somehow turn this man's heart toward God.
As for my fear of intruders? Well, I'm not sure how I'll sleep tonight, or this week, or perhaps for a long time, but I feel like this was the best possible intruder experience we could have had! We did what we had to do; and while it was terrifying, it was surely a LOT better than it could have been. We were spared from harm, our children are safe and sound, our possessions are still ours, and we get to go on living our lives. As we consider the alternative, we are challenged to think deeply once again about what it is that we are truly living FOR. As happy and thankful as we are to have our home and all of our stuff, and especially our precious children (Oh Lord, thank you!!!!!), we are most thankful tonight for the Hope we have in Jesus. And I'm not just saying that because it's the good Christian thing to say. Because He beat death and rose the Victor, we know our future is secure, our true home is in Heaven, and NOTHING can separate us from His Love!!! "For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8)
There is no security system worthy of such trust and hope!
There is no dead-bolted door that can keep us safer than this promise.
.... though we WILL begin locking ours from now on.... :)
And there is no trauma that is not able to be conquered through trust and time...