I'm not that great at praying. But I believe in it now more than ever. Like I said before, it's not as if God needs a thousand people asking Him to close the heart duct of a tiny baby boy in order for Him to do so. He is all powerful and all knowing and all loving. But He is also mysterious. His ways are not our ways. His thoughts are higher than ours (Isaiah 55). He asks us to pray for our hearts' desires, but He doesn't guarantee that we'll get what we ask for, when we ask for it, in the way that we expect. I used to look at this as somewhat unfair. But these days, despite the mystery of 'unanswered' prayer, there is still peace. We've been asking God daily to close this tiny heart duct, and so far He has not done so. And while we'd like Him to answer right away with our preferred response, we are trusting that He has a special plan for Kyren. There is mystery, power (James 5:13-16), and purpose in every prayer we offer up. It's just that we often don't get to see the many purposes this side of Heaven, I'm convinced.
We are believing God for miracles-- we still want that duct closed before they elect to do surgery on it this Monday. And we will ask God to have mercy on His beloved in this way. But we are certain that whether or not He answers in the affirmative, He has a purpose (or two or three or 1000). This surgery will not be left to chance. It will be left to the Great Physician. And we don't just say this hoping that God will see our great faith and grant us our hearts' desires. We really do want what He wants, because we have come to truly believe that He has nothing but the best in mind for us and our baby. It's just that His best may come in a different package, at a different hour than we expect (ie, the birth of our baby 16 weeks before his due date).
Thank you for joining us on this mysterious, powerful, purposeful journey... we are amazed at the answers to your prayers that God has already granted, and we are anticipating the goodness of His Hand to continue regardless of the circumstances He allows.
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3 comments:
Oh Melissa,
We will certainly continue to pray for a miracle regarding this heart issue in particular. Please keep posting specific prayer requests because that helps us know what to pray for.
Remember, BECAUSE of your faith, you please God.
We're believing right along with you!!
Katie
I remember praying in the same way for Alex and I remember being so disappointed when the PDA did not close on its own, the medication did not work and surgery was needed. I was scared...and could almost feel my baby's pain. God's plans were different than mine. Alexandria did so well with the surgery and recovered quickly AND her heart and breathing improved so much becaue of it. I hated the surgery. I hated my baby being cut open. I was disappointed but strangely enough still trusted God that this was best somehow. It's okay to pray for your heart's desire and it's okay to be disappointed when you don't get it. And I think it is possible to trust God and belive He knows best while grieving for what your child is going through. Everything in you wants to spare him more pain. Everything in you wants to protect him. We are not robots...You are doing great, even if you don't think you are. I am praying that surgery won't be needed, for God's will to be done and for strength to walk on the path set before you.
We are praying! That's what God wants us to do, come to Him with our heart's desires and concerns. Come to Him first instead of relying on ourselves. As I've learned many times in my life, the prayers that He answers or does not answer does not always make sense at the time, but He has a plan. He has a plan even if we don't pray. But I know I would be lost if I couldn't lay my concerns and heart breaks at His feet and know He is taking care of us. Our Lord is taking care of sweet, little Kyren. How amazing, what a miracle!!
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