Part Time

I am officially a part time employee for the next month-- and it feels so good! My 6 1/2 years at Amnion has truly been an amazing journey of growth and a tremendous gift... and while it has often felt like my "identity", I couldn't be more ready to transition out of it (come April 1st). I love how God does that -- prepares our hearts for what He has planned. Timing is everything, and as a change-resistant person, I am always so thankful when things seem to just fall into place in just the right amount of time. I am actually ready to go!
If I were meant to continue in this line of work, I believe my desire/drive for it would have remained as intense as it once was. And the concrete fact that I am becoming a mother is really a good sign that I am meant to begin a new chapter, one that doesn't involve the same kind of ministry and/or investment. It is no less and no better than my previous assignment-- it is just different. A new and welcome (and somewhat terrifying) season! And while being the Relationship Educator was a passion and a privilege, it really was not my identity. A wise woman once said that if our identity remains in Christ, then our assignment can change at any given moment and we won't be thrown off course. I want to remember this as I begin this journey of motherhood. I want to invest fully in what God has for me as a wife and mom, but be diligent about remembering where my true identity lies. Someday my kids will grow up and move on-- someday my husband may leave this life before i do. And while those transitions will be difficult, I don't want to find myself grieving the loss of "who I am" based on "what I do". I have heard that many women find themselves at a loss for meaning/purpose when their children leave for college. Definitely a time of evaluation and even perhaps of grief, but I don't want to feel lost. Yes, the next couple of decades will be an intense and consuming assignment-- but I want my goal to remain the same-- to remember that who I am is a child of God, and what I do in that identity is daily and hourly up to Him. Whether doing the laundry, changing a diaper, or counseling a teen, full time or part time, may my true identity shine through...

Babymoon

On the airplane ride home, we found an article in the US Airways magazine, in the seat pocket in front of us, on Babymoons-- the honeymoon-esque vacation you take right before the baby comes and ruins your chances of ever having a carefree getaway again! (carefree being the operative word)
And that's just what it was-- a carefree time of relaxation and lots of sunshine! It really was about 85 degrees every day (sometimes a bit warmer), with cool ocean breezes (near the ocean), and plenty of open-air restaurants to sit and take in the fresh salt air! I'll let the slideshow say the proverbial 1000 words (just click on it to enlarge)... but it was definitely a wonderful memory-- both with the fam, and with each other--
We loved our little Bed and Breakfast, in the home of a lovely British woman who was a Jehovah's Witness and a Talent Agent -- which definitely led to some interesting conversations! The Wedding itself was an extravagant experience, and the food and ambiance at the Biltmore Hotel were truly elegant. I got to meet Dave's grandmother too, who lives in FL and couldn't make it up to PA for our wedding.
The best part was just getting away to rest and refresh-- and coming home with a tan wasn't so bad either ;) ...

29 + 29 equals 85!

29 weeks at 29 years old!
29 + 29 = 58
58 backwards is 85
85 degrees is how warm it's supposed to be in Coral Gables, Florida this weekend... which is where we're headed in a couple of hours...!!!
Dave's brother is getting married on Saturday at the Biltmore Hotel, outside, in a garden! I can't wait to be in the sunshine!! It is one of my favorite things-- especially in the middle of winter! We are staying at a small, one-room Bed and Breakfast a few miles away, and have decided to make this our last "just the two of us" excursion -- staying till tuesday!
My plan? To dig a hole in the sand and lie on my belly for a couple of days! I so miss being a stomach sleeper these last few months. Sleeping is getting more and more difficult now that i'm in trimester 3, so hopefully a little cat nap, on my tummy, in the sunshine (of course with a good sunscreen lather) will be a total luxury!
I'm determined to remember the camera this time AND to remember to take a lot of pics.
Especially since I get to wear one of my bridesmaid's dresses from my own wedding! (Thanks to Lauren, who was just about as pregnant then as I am now) :)
I tried it on yesterday and it JUST fits over my freshly gained 6 more pounds :) (i had a dr. appt. this morning) .... So that should be fun...
Well, if you're reading this, enjoy the snow for us!! Ha ha...

a girly weekend

Yesterday was a back-to-back girl fest! I'm always intending to bring my camera, but somehow even when i do, i forget to capture the moment. Hopefully someone will send me one and i can post it...
Saturday morning brunch is becoming a tradition, bridging the gap between some of my best single and married girlfriends. We've only done it twice, but it's already been a fun blessing, as we are taking turns hosting...which is super easy... All that's required is that you come in your p.j.'s and if you're so inclined, BYFBT (Bring Your Favorite Breakfast Treat). No agenda, just hanging out and catching up-- what girls do best!
Saturday afternoon I drove with good friend Al and her husband to Sea Isle City to catch up with my old high school gang of girls (and their moms!) at an engagement party. It's so fascinating to me that we are all grown up, getting married, having babies, and yet can reminisce about the wonder years we all experienced together. While our conversations have evolved from boys and homework to wedding venues and baby names, our times together are always something I look forward to. We live in different places now, so it's actually a great idea-- all this marrying and babying-- or we probably wouldn't get to see each other and be reminded of the beautiful (and not so beautiful) passages of life we have gone through together. It's extra special, and i think probably rather rare, that our moms are always in on it too-- though mine had to miss out this time - :( - due to her knee surgery. (we missed you, Mama! Get well soon!)
All this girliness has left me napping the afternoon away today, which has been a true delight in and of itself-- there's no tired like pregnancy tired! And there's nothing like a great snooze with a light rainfall outside to start your week...

Happy Valentine's Day

Here are our brownie hearts that we used to announce that we were pregnant back in the Fall. I thought I'd pull them out again for Valentine's since they're so... love-ly. :)
Dave made dinner tonight-- if you call picking up yummy food from Macaroni Grille "making dinner"-- which, hey, I do! He surprised me with lobster ravioli in a sweet cream sauce-- sooo good! And their bread is the best thing ever invented!! And i'm not just saying that cuz i'm pregnant...
Speaking of which, I think I grew a LOT the past few days. My ribs have been aching, and I had someone tell me today that I am as big as she was at 9 months. That was nice and encouraging! Fortunately an hour later I had a guy guess that I was due in May. THANK you! Although I can't imagine how I'm going to make it to May, already being this big and uncomfortable! yikes! I am hoping that my body adjusts over the next few weeks, but I have a feeling it's all downhill from here in terms of discomfort. I'll try my best not to complain TOO much! :) i'm not the greatest when it comes to pain tolerance ... which should make labor extra super-fun!
Speaking of pain tolerance, my poor mom had her knee replaced yesterday. She's in a lot of pain and the hardest times are yet to come, as she begins rehab in a couple days. If you think of it, say a prayer for her! She's determined to be able to run after grandchildren by May, which was her total incentive for taking this plunge. She's a Super Gramma already!

Restless Night

From about 1-2 a.m. we were awoken every few minutes by what sounded like ricocheting gunshots... since that's not really the norm on the back roads of West Chester, we quickly ruled that out. The house wasn't shaking, so we were pretty sure it wasn't the usual limbs falling from our gargantuan Poplar trees that have been swaying ominously above our little house. After a few scary rounds, we realized it sounded like sheets of ice, either falling from limbs in the rain, or sliding down our roof as the rain loosened them... It was pouring like crazy.
Suddenly at 2:30 we were wakened by dripping sounds. Dave jumped out of bed and turned on the light, revealing a foot-long crack in our ceiling (fortunately to the right of our bed, and not directly above our bed!).
It was one of those "Oh my goodness, what do we do?" moments, where you can't think clearly b/c it's 2:30 in the morning and your ceiling's dripping.
For those of you who read about our fountaining chandelier, you're probably thinking, "Um, you probably should have had the roof replaced by now, Genius!" ...I think that thought was somewhere in the back of our minds around 2:33, as we were scrambling to get a plastic trashcan from the basement and clear all the clothes from the vicinity (don't tell mom). It's funny how in those moments, even though I trust my husband and it really wasn't a true emergency, I have this overwhelming urge to pick up the phone and call my dad-- not that he could do ANYthing about it, but somehow that feels like it will always be built into me.
Once Dave had visited the attic and discovered that the same blocked off part where the mouse was digging was the same part where the leak was, and after he had gone outside in the ice and rain to investigate the roof (which was nearly impossible due to the darkness, ice, and tree that grows over the edge of our roof), his suggestion was that we go back to sleep. Ha! As if I could do that, with images of our ceiling collapsing on us now running through my mind.
I got online and googled "emergency roofer, west chester"-- just in case the worst came true-- which it did not (thank the Good Lord)... I only dreamed about it coming true as I slept fitfully for the next 4 hours or so, often waking up thinking that there was dripping coming from every corner of the room...
Called the roofer at 8 a.m. (we DID get an estimate since the chandelier incident!)-- and he said he could come over as soon as all the ice melts, so he doesn't fall off the roof... talk about Genius!
All of the schools around here are closed... It's now 9:30 a.m. and I am ready for a nap!
Perhaps it will be another "work from home" day!
Here's to procrastinating on home projects!

It's real!

I got the crib bedding I have been wanting today, from my parents, for my bday! It made it so much more real that this is actually happening!

We're having a baby!!!! And these are his things! It is the cutest pattern, and all of the animals on it are plush and 3D. I love it just as much as I did when I saw it online-- and of course it's even better in person. It helps me to have incentive now to get a move on things...

My grandmother gave me a cute little blue outfit for Bruno -- and that made it even MORE real. To picture him in it a few months from now! He is already so loved and he isn't even here to know it!

27 1/2

Here we stand at 27.5 weeks. Heading into Trimester #3 and heading off to church-- then out to celebrate life, yet again, with my family.

Undocumented Fun

Of course I left the house with everything but my camera last night-- so nothing is documented on film :( , which was my goal. But I will include some links and pics here in attempts to capture a bit of the visual memories.

Dave took me to a new upscale casual restaurant in Chadds Ford (it's actually the newly renovated Chadds Ford Inn)... called Brandywine Prime. I had a big juicy burger-- it was great! Followed by Blackberry Cobbler with Buttermilk ice cream. uh, yeah, definitely worth it just for that! I was a stuffed prego!

We walked around a little bit in the town of Centreville, DE and then backtracked to the Fairville Inn in Chadds Ford. Not quite as nice as some other B & B's we've been to, but definitely nice. It seemed like we were the only ones there-- we were definitely the only ones eating the yummy fresh french toast at 8am in the dining room. It was flurrying when we walked out of our room this morning, so that was fun-- while it lasted, which snow really doesn't do much of these days round here.

Then it was off to our parenting class-- which was divided into three sections-- 1. The Toddler Years 2. The Grade School Years 3. The Teenage Years.

All 3 were interesting and very encouraging. One of the best parts, in my opinion, was when they talked about how God delights in us as His children, and He only disciplines us in Love-- never in anger or disappointment. I heard a guy say recently that God is never disappointed with us if we are IN Christ-- in order for Him to be disappointed, He would have had to have some kind of unmet expectation on us, which of course He does not. I like that. It makes me want to study more of God's Fatherly character. He is so unlike us as parents, and yet we are called to model His Love to our children. I can't wait to see this miniscule picture of unconditional delight in becoming a parent for the first time! I realize that I will only ever be able to be an example of Love if I am experiencing God's Parental Love personally-- being filled to overflowing, and empowered to love my kids beyond my natural ability-- especially in those testing moments! I know I will fail, will get angry, will not always discipline in love-- and yet what an opportunity that will be to show my children the beauty of humility, repentence and forgiveness.

My time with my girls at Cosi was super. I love them so much-- and consider them all my birthday gifts :). We ate s'mores galore and laughed at Kate, who insisted on trying to melt the hershey bar squares, on the sticks, after all the marshmallows were gone! This is the moment I regret not having a camera the most! She said in comparison to the millions of kids who make a mess with their s'mores, this was nothing. Probably very true, and thus an acceptable excuse to drip chocolate all over everything! It's fun to grow up, and yet, not. :)

Birthdayte-- I can't wait!

Since I had a speaking engagement on my birthday, and since Valentine's Day will be midweek next week, my hubby is taking me on a Birth-dayte this evening. I don't know where we're going, but I know it includes dinner, bed and breakfast. And it's so much better timing than last weekend would have been (being sick and all). We've been going to sleep at 7 or 8 for the past few nights, still tuckered out from the virus monster, so hopefully we'll be able to enjoy our evening without falling asleep at the dinner table!

Tomorrow morning we have a class at church called "Beyond Survival Parenting"-- it will be our first class on how to be parents... what better way to follow a romantic evening for two? :) THEN, as Dave heads off to his brother's bachelor party at the Flyers' Game in Philly, I will head off to the new Cosi that just opened up in the heart of West Chester (very exciting indeed) to celebrate both Toni and my birthdays with our Girls. There is talk of S'mores -- YES! Such a fun way to celebrate life-- first with my boyfriend and then with some of my best girlfriends! I love that two of us are single and two of us are married-- I love being at different places in life, and yet having such a close bond! It is a beautiful gift-- one that I treasure more than words can say!

Here's to a fun and frivilous weekend...

A Laugh and a Half!

Maybe parenting WON'T be so hard after all...

My sister-in-law sent me this video-- and i can't resist posting it! I've been praying for a joyful spirit for Bruno-- but this would be beyond my wildest hopes and dreams... :)

29 and feelin fine!

Today i am 27 weeks pregnant and 29 years old. My mom asked how my birthday was and i said "it was ok-- didn't really feel like a birthday-- 29's not that significant..." ....to which she replied, "It was for ME-- I had a brand new baby girl!" I smiled. Wow, my mom was my age when she had me. And her life has never been the same. So i suppose that in about 3 months, my life will suddenly be a very new and exciting 29!
It does freak me out a little to look at that number... It's the last year I will be in my 20's. Um, where did they go? It seems like yesterday I was going off to college. I don't feel that much older-- and yet... I do. So much has changed. I'm a real grown-up, I think. All those fears of "will i get married?" , "will I make it past 25?" , "what will i do with my life?" have all come to pass -- all in perfect timing. Not always the timing I would have expected-- but I don't think I'd change much about it. Still, the number 29 does seem to begin to scream "life moves faster than you think!" From what i hear, it only speeds up once you have kids...
I am beginning to feel the weight of the transition I'm about to go through-- leaving my career to begin a new one-- one I have no clue how to do. Someone told me I should get all my nursery stuff ready before my 8th month-- since I'll be too big and tired to work on it then. But I haven't had a ton of motivation to register or buy stuff. I'm still coming to terms with the fact that there's a real human being in my huge belly! I'm hoping that our childbirth classes in March will help to prepare me mentally a bit. But I'm just not super into the whole reading/researching how to be a parent, how to breastfeed, how to assuage a screaming infant, how to get him on a schedule, etc... kinds of things. It's a whole new world, and perhaps I'm just avoiding the reality of how much I just DON'T know.
At this point I'll open it up for those of you who have experience, and therefore advice! Any and all is welcome! Just don't tell me "oh, you'll do great!" :)

The World's Most Perfect Food

Bananas.

I mean, really. When was the last time you really thanked God for them? I know some people probably don't like them-- but there really isn't anything more good for you, easy to eat, and perfectly tasty, if you get it at just the right ripe-ness. I like that they come in their very own bright and sunny carrying case, and you can open them from either end; or if you do it really fast, you can actually break them in half! Snap! My preferred method is to hold the stem from the bottom, and snap it open. . . i saw someone do that once in college and thought it was ingenius....and very fun. I love that they have so many uses-- from natural baby food to freezing them for smoothies, to mashing them up for banana bread (which i make a lot lately, partially for the fun of mashing the bananas themselves-- but mostly cuz it is soooooo yummy!). But the best is when you're just too hungry to make a meal, or you need a little something to tide you over... it totally hits the spot.

Sometimes if there is a certain chemical on a banana it will irritate my tongue (i have tongue irritation issues with some foods, but only at certain times...i know, strange). But the one I just ate was particularly perfect, and I thought I'd write a little ode to one of nature's classicly designer pieces of produce.

Happy Groundhog Day, One and All !

How about a toast to the guy who made this an actual holiday?!

(WHY?)

Relapse!

Just when you think you've conquered the virus, it returns like a bad horror flick monster who just won't die! Dave's fever broke on Thursday morning, and by evening he was feeling fine. Friday morning he was off to work, a little sniffly, but looking sharp. I stayed home to rest and work from my home office (aka, the livingroom w/my laptop), as it was pouring rain and a little bit of ice, and I didn't want to push my pregnant self. I felt increasingly better as the day went on, getting a lot accomplished (which always feels so good!). But around 1pm I got a call from my beloved husband, saying he was coming home because he was too dizzy to stay focussed at the office! Usually he is "Mr. Tough-it-out for the sake of the work ethic"-- but man, by the time he got here he was wiped out! His fever was back up over 100 degrees, and the poor guy could hardly speak. My poor little champ! He couldn't crawl into bed because the sick bed was in the wash-- I was making the most of being well and being home! He curled up on the couch with a blanky and a pillow and looked pitiful. Eventually we got the bed put back together so he could recontaminate the fresh sheets-- where he still remains, watching Lord of the Rings-- which he can hardly get through b/c he keeps falling asleep. :(
So let this be a lesson to all you tough guys out there-- This is one beast you don't want to try to conquer; just be a man and let it take its course!