vent

We're getting to hold him all the time now. It's still surreal, and a little frustrating to not be able to see his face (since he has to be skin to skin, he's against my chest and his face is only partially visible). But it's worth it!

Yesterday they turned down the ventilator to 40 breaths per min (instead of 60) to try to prepare him to switch over to the C-PAP tomorrow. This tests his lungs to see whether or not he's able to take more breaths on his own. We would love for him to be able to make it without the Vent by tomorrow -- but again, we realize that it takes time for his lungs to develop... and we don't want to rush him. Poor little guy! No pressure!

He seems to be doing remarkably well-- no real complications or setbacks so far. He's gaining weight rather steadily, and his feedings are up to 21 mL every 3 hrs. As of this morning he was 2 lbs 4.5 oz.

God is good!

On the homefront I am having trouble sleeping since our incident a week ago. We've been reading a lot of scriptures on fear and praying before we go to bed, and that seems to really help me fall asleep... it's just that post-pumping period in the middle of the night that is difficult for me. and sometimes in the early morning. I've never experienced an acute stress response like this-- and i don't like it!! And as much as I am thankful for every way, shape and form that the incident wasn't any worse than it was, I am still struggling to get my sympathetic nervous system to calm down, and my mind to stop racing. I know it will take time, but I just want it to be better NOW. To feel safe in my own home. To only be dealing with one crisis at a time...