8 weeks ago tonight, we couldn't have imagined we'd be where we are right now. I wasn't even aware that I'd be giving birth at 8pm that Sunday night. As I sit here at 8pm tonight, I feel like it's been one gigantic blurry whirlwind. I'm 'supposed' to be 32 weeks pregnant-- feeling fat and uncomfortable. Sometimes I try to imagine what that would be like. It seems like so long ago that I had that bump under my shirt. Now I have a Snoogle. It's not the same... and sometimes it makes me sad. My baby is 'supposed' to be swimming around inside my womb, carefree and blissfully unaware of any world beyond it.
I saw a newborn at church today, so tiny and sweet. I marveled at his littleness, and then suddenly remembered that i have one of those that's even tinier. it's still just so hard to believe sometimes. And even harder to imagine that I'll ever be taking him anywhere!
I know that it's okay to feel all of these things-- and still have an awareness that what was supposed to happen is what DID happen... and that there is purpose in all of it. I love that God understands our frailty and inability to make sense of all He does. I love that He created us with finite minds but gave us the ability to have faith in the infinite. And to be thankful for the little things. If Kyren were still in the womb, I never would have thought to get so excited about his gaining an ounce a day... or growing lung tissue. We wouldn't be excitedly waiting for him to cross over that 3 lb mark this week... or marveling at his developing cheeks! No, I'd probably just be complaining that I still had another 8 weeks of feeling fat and uncomfortable yet to go.
Thank you, Lord, for the difference 8 weeks can make...
Special Moments:
our first date
getting engaged
my girls' night before my wedding
my beautiful bridesmaids
that walk
my bridegroom washing my feet
Our First Kiss
Our First Dance
Our Bermuda Honeymoon
Dave's First Indian Lake Experience
our first Christmas
Little Cayman Trip
speaking to thousands of kids in Uganda
Moving in to our first house
Our First Anniversary in Cape May
Sitting by the Sea of Galilee
Christmas 07
May 6, 2008, 9:56pm, our first born!
holding my miracle boy for the 1st time
3 comments:
Wow! Eight weeks already! I love the picture of Kyren's whole face --the first we've seen him without tube or mask. His cheeks and tummy are really rounding up. I shared his story and the way it is a witness to other peoples' faith tonight at our Bible study. God bless all!
As always, you manage to make me cry, with a little help from my hormones. It's hard to imagine it was 8 1/2 weeks ago that Kyren entered our world. It's amazing to see his progress in those 8 weeks. I'm sure it's surreal to you, assuming he wasn't coming until Jan and yet here he is over 8 weeks old.
As if I didn't already cherish my own miracle growing in my belly, I think a lot about where you and Kyren are in this process of him getting bigger and stronger outside the womb. Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding". It's so strange to think that you were due a month after me and here your little guy is already 2 months old. That your contractions ended up with you giving birth and here I've been having them for 9 weeks with no sign of my baby arriving yet. Our God has a plan for each of us. I can't wait to see how amazing and special Kyren's life is going to be because of this unique and amazing start to his life. I can't wait to see what next month has in store for him.
I'm continually praying for you guys. I hope that by the time I have our baby and leave the hospital that Kyren won't be too far behind in that step. Praise God!!
They are normal feelings and thoughts Meliss...I felt the same way more then once when Alex was in the NICU for almost 3 months. I still sometimes feel sad that I didn't get to experiance the 3rd timester. We take things forgranted so often, don't we? Complaing, being so self-focused...Having a preemie puts many things in perspective...The fact that you are loving God by centering those feelings and thoughts around HIM is comendable! You could easily fall into self-pity or discouragement (which would be understandable!) but instead you give thanks to HIM in all things! You are walking by faith in obediance - I am inspired and encouraged. Keep on tracking along one step, one emotion at a time. :)
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