school: the first 2 days.

day one was a mommy 'n' me 20 minute visit in the classroom. it went mildly well. C was excited to go, but as soon as we stepped (well, i stepped, carrying him) in the room, his whole body stiffened, and i could feel his blood pressure skyrocket. he knew i wasn't leaving, but there were strangers there, and i think just the thought of being there, knowing that the next day i'd be leaving, was enough to fill him with anxiety. he calmed down a little bit, and played w/some toys. i read him a couple of books as we chatted w/the teachers... but half way through the 2nd book, he suddenly started to cry. like a mini panic attack. poor baby!

the second day (his first real day) he got out of the car and said, "oh, i forgot my Bob the Builder hard hat", and reached in to grab it. on his head it went, as if he'd planned to wear it as part of his first day of school outfit. i let him. we walked in the building and ran down the ramp as promised. he was doing great til we got to the hallway of his classroom. he stopped and said, "i don't want to go." we found his cubby, put his schoolbag in it, and said a brief goodbye. i kissed his hand, like in The Kissing Hand, and told him if he missed me he could put the kiss on his cheek and i'd be with him. the teacher came out in the hall, scooped him up, and said, "say, 'see ya later mom.'" which he did, through brave tears. i definitely welled up as i walked away and the door shut. i stood outside for awhile and could hear him crying. the only kid in the room making any audible noise. i contemplated staying just in case, but realized it would be more torturous for ME. so i got in the car and drove to mom's...only to receive a phone call from the principal to come and pick him up. i could hear him screaming in the background. he was winding up instead of down. so his first real day of school totaled about 45 minutes.

as soon as he was in my arms he stopped crying and started telling me about his morning. how he got to paint and go on the train on the playground. ironically he did all of this while sobbing. all the other kids were still on the playground, running around and happy. i partially wanted to give him a pep talk and send him back over to join them, but knew better. he was done. and after a couple of minutes he said, "we'll try again another time." i guess the principal had been telling him that right before i got there. :)

we got in the car, and as we drove away he said matter of factly, "that was fun."

soooo i guess we'll be giving it another go-- and hopefully his positive memories will remain just that, despite reality. :)

i think he really WANTS to like it. and he definitely likes the idea of it. it's just getting his little emotional self convinced. ahh well, at least he looked cute.

before.

after.