When our small group at church heard about all of the devoted care that Kyren was getting from his nurses and doctors round the clock, they decided to express thanksgiving on our behalf by gathering together goodies and placing them in a gift basket for us to bring to the NICU. Within minutes of the basket's delivery, two of the nurses had already snagged the body scrub and note paper-- before it made its way to the 'break room'! And the doctor had a lollipop in his mouth! They were like, "thanks so much for the basket!" And we were like, "thanks so much for keeping our son alive..." ? i mean, what do you say to that??
There really is no gift that could thank them enough-- we are just so grateful to God for the gift of modern medicine... and the gift of modern insurance! We feel so provided for in all of this-- from the 24hr care and expertise of the medical community... right down to the gift basket of thanks from our church community! What a wonderful Thanksgiving this will be...
Friday, November 13, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
a growing boy
This morning our big boy weighed in at 2 lbs. 9.4 oz.
Tonight we both got to hold him. AND we got to see him for a few seconds without his mask.
It was so precious to see his entire face!
Holding him against my chest, I imagined what it will be like to have him home with us someday. To hold him skin-to-skin without any tubes or wires. He's starting to feel real. Literally. He's actually heavy enough to feel against my skin...
We are enjoying these "simpler" days where he is growing and healthy... yet still sleepy enough to not express discomfort or cry. Those days will be coming soon, and it will most likely become much more difficult to leave him.
Next week he has one more brain scan-- to be sure that there is no Cerebral Palsy or any other damage. God has been so good to all of us thus far-- it's amazing to see how far this baby's come in just 7 weeks of life outside the womb. We know that each day is a gift, and while we hope and pray that this scan is free and clear of any abnormality, we are rejoicing in God's mercy on Kyren David TODAY.
a sweet, maskless moment of peace
Tonight we both got to hold him. AND we got to see him for a few seconds without his mask.
It was so precious to see his entire face!
Holding him against my chest, I imagined what it will be like to have him home with us someday. To hold him skin-to-skin without any tubes or wires. He's starting to feel real. Literally. He's actually heavy enough to feel against my skin...
We are enjoying these "simpler" days where he is growing and healthy... yet still sleepy enough to not express discomfort or cry. Those days will be coming soon, and it will most likely become much more difficult to leave him.
Next week he has one more brain scan-- to be sure that there is no Cerebral Palsy or any other damage. God has been so good to all of us thus far-- it's amazing to see how far this baby's come in just 7 weeks of life outside the womb. We know that each day is a gift, and while we hope and pray that this scan is free and clear of any abnormality, we are rejoicing in God's mercy on Kyren David TODAY.
a sweet, maskless moment of peace
face to face with daddy
so much easier to take him in and out of his bed now that he's off the vent
Friday, November 6, 2009
C-PAP smiles
While it's not the most attractive apparatus you could wear on your face, it's definitely the most welcome milestone yet! We couldn't be happier to have graduated from the vent-- on to bigger and better lung capacity! And even though this next month will probably be spent on the C-PAP before graduating to a nasal cannula (just oxygen prongs), we rejoice in how far he's come and how well he's doing! It is evident that prayer is powerful-- and that God is good-- this morning he was down to 21% oxygen! Looking forward to seeing how much chubbier his cheeks can get now that he's able to rest and grow...
preemie pacifier in my hand
preemie pacifier in my hand
breathing happy air!
holding hands
chubby cheeks and a too big diaper
18 months of joy
Christian turns 18 months -- and we're ready to call MENSA.
He knows his letters, numbers, shapes, and the names of every person he's met in the past 3 months, as well as the difference between a backhoe, excavator, digger, loader and bulldozer. He pointed to a piece of machinery in one of Poppy's catalogs the other day and told me it was a Grapple. I don't even know how to spell grapple, let alone what one IS or looks like.
Completely on his own initiative, he's starting to use the plural form of words, including ownership, rather correctly! And he knows that Gramsy's car is a "Tahoe".
He is obsessed this week with ladybugs, and watching The Ladybug Picnic over and over on YouTube. oh, and Elmo's Song.
He seems to be growing accustomed to our leaving him for hours at a time to go visit "Kooey", and is incredibly excited about spending time with all of his grandparents. His first attempt at a sentence was, "Poppy has boat." (a couple of weeks ago) And he often says, "Comes, Daddy..." when dave walks down the hall.
He seems to be getting all four of his 1 yr. molars, and despite the drool and fatigue, seems to be fairing rather well. He loves yogurt, oranges (much to my dismay), craisins, raisins, and meatloaf. Oh, and Bran Flakes with milk-- his new favorite breakfast. Bwan Fwakes.
He refuses to let us near his golden locks with a pair of scissors. . . apparently he picked up somewhere along the way that scissors are dangerous and can hurt you. But yesterday I tricked him into letting me trim his bangs while he drank his bottle (on the floor with the 2 couch pillows, his daily routine at 3pm).
He loves being nakey, running around with nothing on for as long as he can get away from us. He loves when we make up songs about all the people in his life (especially Poppy's employees-- Andrew, Steve, and Rob).
Completely on his own, he started demanding that we "Pray, Jesus!" every time we sit down to eat together. he loves to shout "Amen!" with a big smile at the end. it's like he really has a sense of spiritual things... so cool to watch this emerge without prompting.
He says "zerbert" and loves to be chased and tickled. And he's becoming more affectionate-- giving huggies, snuggies, kisses, mugga-muggas and duhtz's. Please don't let it ever end!!!!
We are enjoying him so immensely these days-- and are so thankful for this wonder-filled, wide-eyed bundle of joy and giggles-- we just don't know how to contain it!!
Sure he's got his whiney, grumpy, breakdown moments too-- but he more than makes up for it in cuteness.
We lubby our bubby!
He knows his letters, numbers, shapes, and the names of every person he's met in the past 3 months, as well as the difference between a backhoe, excavator, digger, loader and bulldozer. He pointed to a piece of machinery in one of Poppy's catalogs the other day and told me it was a Grapple. I don't even know how to spell grapple, let alone what one IS or looks like.
Completely on his own initiative, he's starting to use the plural form of words, including ownership, rather correctly! And he knows that Gramsy's car is a "Tahoe".
He is obsessed this week with ladybugs, and watching The Ladybug Picnic over and over on YouTube. oh, and Elmo's Song.
He seems to be growing accustomed to our leaving him for hours at a time to go visit "Kooey", and is incredibly excited about spending time with all of his grandparents. His first attempt at a sentence was, "Poppy has boat." (a couple of weeks ago) And he often says, "Comes, Daddy..." when dave walks down the hall.
He seems to be getting all four of his 1 yr. molars, and despite the drool and fatigue, seems to be fairing rather well. He loves yogurt, oranges (much to my dismay), craisins, raisins, and meatloaf. Oh, and Bran Flakes with milk-- his new favorite breakfast. Bwan Fwakes.
He refuses to let us near his golden locks with a pair of scissors. . . apparently he picked up somewhere along the way that scissors are dangerous and can hurt you. But yesterday I tricked him into letting me trim his bangs while he drank his bottle (on the floor with the 2 couch pillows, his daily routine at 3pm).
He loves being nakey, running around with nothing on for as long as he can get away from us. He loves when we make up songs about all the people in his life (especially Poppy's employees-- Andrew, Steve, and Rob).
Completely on his own, he started demanding that we "Pray, Jesus!" every time we sit down to eat together. he loves to shout "Amen!" with a big smile at the end. it's like he really has a sense of spiritual things... so cool to watch this emerge without prompting.
He says "zerbert" and loves to be chased and tickled. And he's becoming more affectionate-- giving huggies, snuggies, kisses, mugga-muggas and duhtz's. Please don't let it ever end!!!!
We are enjoying him so immensely these days-- and are so thankful for this wonder-filled, wide-eyed bundle of joy and giggles-- we just don't know how to contain it!!
Sure he's got his whiney, grumpy, breakdown moments too-- but he more than makes up for it in cuteness.
We lubby our bubby!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
24 hrs!
Just talked to Kyren's nurse to see how he is doing (and if he was still on C-PAP)-- for the 2nd time today. She said he was doing so well, she was bored!! Music to a mother's ears!
When I spoke with her this morning she had taken him down from 30% oxygen to 26%-- and just now she said he was down to 23%!!
We are thrilled--
My mom and I will hopefully visit this afternoon and get some good pictures--
more later...
When I spoke with her this morning she had taken him down from 30% oxygen to 26%-- and just now she said he was down to 23%!!
We are thrilled--
My mom and I will hopefully visit this afternoon and get some good pictures--
more later...
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
new mercies
It's 8pm and Kyren's been on the C-PAP successfully since around 1:30 this afternoon! Dave was able to be there shortly after they extubated him, and put the prongs in his little nostrils... he only had a few short spells of apnea before beginning to breathe rather well "on his own". Sometimes he would forget to take a breath here and there, but it seems that his brain is beginning to learn how to send those "breathe in, breathe out" signals to his lungs. AMAZING!! I really am in awe...
that this is real. that my baby is strengthening day by day. that he's actually growing little sacs of air in his lungs as we pray.
He is still so tiny and so fragile, but we can see such a difference in his appearance from even just a week or two ago. He's starting to chub up and get jowly cheeks and a double chin. His hair is getting darker and softer and longer. He has tiny eyelashes. And when i held him yesterday, i could feel his fingernails peaking over the tips of his fingers (how in the world do you file something so tiny?). Our little Miracle!
I know that he could still end up back on the vent-- but even the fact that he's been going steadily on the C-PAP for 7 hrs straight brings such joy to my heart! It is proof of God's power at work, strengthening those lungs, day by day, hour by hour. I know that He is breathinig each breath into our little man, and delighting in His creation! He is enjoying 'having mercy on His beloved'! And what a sweet mercy it is--
speaking of which, I slept much better last night-- Thank you Lord that your mercies are always new! They are fresh and personal and powerful. You help Kyren to breathe faster and me to breathe slower, so we each can rest and gain strength. Just another reminder that our need is the same as his. Every breath is a gift... and a sign of dependence on You. And maybe that is partly why you design these trials-- to bring us to that place where breathing in and out becomes the primary goal for the day (and even the moment)... and we realize that without your sustaining power, we wouldn't be able to make it. we need you as much as he does to survive in this world!
Thank you for all the ways you are speaking to us through this sweet and precious trial.
Amen.
that this is real. that my baby is strengthening day by day. that he's actually growing little sacs of air in his lungs as we pray.
He is still so tiny and so fragile, but we can see such a difference in his appearance from even just a week or two ago. He's starting to chub up and get jowly cheeks and a double chin. His hair is getting darker and softer and longer. He has tiny eyelashes. And when i held him yesterday, i could feel his fingernails peaking over the tips of his fingers (how in the world do you file something so tiny?). Our little Miracle!
I know that he could still end up back on the vent-- but even the fact that he's been going steadily on the C-PAP for 7 hrs straight brings such joy to my heart! It is proof of God's power at work, strengthening those lungs, day by day, hour by hour. I know that He is breathinig each breath into our little man, and delighting in His creation! He is enjoying 'having mercy on His beloved'! And what a sweet mercy it is--
speaking of which, I slept much better last night-- Thank you Lord that your mercies are always new! They are fresh and personal and powerful. You help Kyren to breathe faster and me to breathe slower, so we each can rest and gain strength. Just another reminder that our need is the same as his. Every breath is a gift... and a sign of dependence on You. And maybe that is partly why you design these trials-- to bring us to that place where breathing in and out becomes the primary goal for the day (and even the moment)... and we realize that without your sustaining power, we wouldn't be able to make it. we need you as much as he does to survive in this world!
Thank you for all the ways you are speaking to us through this sweet and precious trial.
Amen.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
vent
We're getting to hold him all the time now. It's still surreal, and a little frustrating to not be able to see his face (since he has to be skin to skin, he's against my chest and his face is only partially visible). But it's worth it!
Yesterday they turned down the ventilator to 40 breaths per min (instead of 60) to try to prepare him to switch over to the C-PAP tomorrow. This tests his lungs to see whether or not he's able to take more breaths on his own. We would love for him to be able to make it without the Vent by tomorrow -- but again, we realize that it takes time for his lungs to develop... and we don't want to rush him. Poor little guy! No pressure!
He seems to be doing remarkably well-- no real complications or setbacks so far. He's gaining weight rather steadily, and his feedings are up to 21 mL every 3 hrs. As of this morning he was 2 lbs 4.5 oz.
God is good!
On the homefront I am having trouble sleeping since our incident a week ago. We've been reading a lot of scriptures on fear and praying before we go to bed, and that seems to really help me fall asleep... it's just that post-pumping period in the middle of the night that is difficult for me. and sometimes in the early morning. I've never experienced an acute stress response like this-- and i don't like it!! And as much as I am thankful for every way, shape and form that the incident wasn't any worse than it was, I am still struggling to get my sympathetic nervous system to calm down, and my mind to stop racing. I know it will take time, but I just want it to be better NOW. To feel safe in my own home. To only be dealing with one crisis at a time...
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