Fishtian

It's hard to get a picture of our little fish, Christian, due to the fact that he is constantly jumping in the pool, and needs someone to jump to; which would be me, or gramsy most days. leaving one of us to hold Kyren, who also likes to splash his chubby legs in the cool water... leaving NO one to hold a camera. but i wish we could capture his face and the sheer innocent joy that emanates from it every time he jumps.

a week or so ago i was thinking he would be scared to go anywhere near the pool. he tends to be hesitant about new things... and when we pulled the baby pool out over memorial day, he wouldn't even get in IT. but once the big pool was open for business, it was like no time had passed between last summer and this one. it wouldn't surprise me if he remembered that it was 'fun' from last year. there is something so precious about his innocence and trust in the water. and there is also something extremely unnerving about it. we watch him like hawks, always ready to plunge in to retrieve him, which i'm sure is a task not too far off.

i find myself wanting to protect him from things like fear and sadness more than i ever thought i would. wanting to allow him as much time as possible to be innocent of danger, evil, and all things fallen in this world. he doesn't know he can't breathe under water. ... he also doesn't know what a weapon is. he hasn't yet hit the stage where every stick becomes a sword or a gun. they are all just leaf blowers or vacuums or weed-whackers right now. and i like it that way. i really like it. he saw a soldier fire a rifle in last week's parade, and i told him it was a stick that made a loud 'bang'. he seemed content with that. dave overheard my explanation and gave me a 'come ON' kind of look. what?? i'm not gonna introduce him to weaponry until it's absolutely necessary. .... sigh. and until then, i will cherish every weed-whacker reenactment, every fully confident leap into the pool, and every little naked run down the hallway he enjoys when he can slip away before or after a bath or a pool time.

there will be plenty of time in life for fear, disappointment, and reality checks. i don't see a whole lot wrong with protecting his innocence for as long as is appropriately possible. Sure i tell him he's not allowed to jump in the pool without mommy there, but it's pretty hard to explain drowning to someone who doesn't know what oxygen is, let alone his vital need for it to survive. so swim to your precious heart's content, little Fishtian. and ENJOY the sparkle of the water and of life, while it is still unmarred and untainted.

(hopefully one of these days we'll get a picture of it!)