Dave and I have both been sick with matching viruses for the last 3 days-- fevers, chills, bad coughs, aches, and congestion. NOT fun. And yet, so nice to be down and out with your best friend lying right beside you. It was a nasty few days, but somehow sharing the nastiness with the one you love makes everything a little less.... nasty. As the virus took its course, Dave kept whispering in his pitiful sick voice, things like, "I don't think we're going to make it..." and "I see those who've gone before me coming to take me home..."
Spoken like a true man!
At one point, in the middle of the night, I accidentally dropped my glass of water, which shattered all over the floor. He sweetly got up immediately and picked up the shards, and mopped up the mess, without saying a word, as i lay there whimpering on the edge of the bed. He's such a good one to have married at times like this. Despite our different ideas of how to beat a virus (he takes multiple showers at all hours of the day and night-- I lie in bed and whimper my way to the next dose of Tylenol), we did pretty well together. Now that we're both on the up and up, however, I'm a little annoyed that he went to bed at 7pm tonight and I'm not the least bit tired. So much for the bonding time. It's back to the daily grind-- how fortunate that tomorrow happens to be friday! :)
Oh and Bruno is doing just fine... Hopping around as usual... thanks to Mom's homeade chicken soup and jello! I'm thankful that he was on the inside and not the outside for this adventure... to not have to worry about taking care of a sick child on top of a sick husband and a sick me. Now those will be the real adventures! I'm sure there are plenty of people who could read this and say, "Oh what I wouldn't give to have the flu with just my husband lying next to me..."
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
U23D and our bouncing baby boy
Last night, on a total whim, a bunch of us went to see the U2 in 3D concert on the Imax! Dave had been wanting to go see it, and discovered that Hannah Montana in 3D was going to be kicking U2 off the big screen by the weekend. So I bundled up my belly and we took our son to his first concert-- And while it was pretty incredible, I think my little bundle of joy is a bigger fan of rock music than I will ever be! He spent the full hour and a half gettin' down (and up and all around) in his little den of "rock and roll". It was very entertaining! Hopefully that's a strong indication that he's going to follow in his father's muscial genius footsteps...
Today I am home with a chest cold, and Bruno is resting after his big night out-- his muscles definitely got a workout. :) I can't wait to finally meet this little guy. Perhaps we should start calling him Bono.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Free to bee wee little Mee....
Back in the day, the Bollinger family started calling me "Mee-lissa". Mr. B. started it, and then Bob eventually shortened it to "Mee". So when I call, he'll answer the phone, "oh, hi Mee." It's funny. . . cuz i'm always afraid to say, "hey, it's Mee," just in case he doesn't recognize my voice, and thinks I'm just saying, "hey, it's me." I don't like those awkward moments where the person on the other line doesn't know who you are. When people do that to me, and it seems like they're just testing me to see if they're important enough for me to recognize their voice, i find it really annoying. So i will often inflict the awkward silence on them intentionally, so they have to identify themesleves ... evil, i know. but it's the truth.
Lately I've been thinking a lot about the truth. It seems that Americans spend a lot of energy on keeping up appearances for the sake of etiquette, rather than being genuinely themselves. When I was in Israel last summer, I learned very quickly that being polite for the sake of etiquette is a concept that doesn't exist there. If you want something, you don't find a way to hint about it... you just state your preference. If you feel something, you don't try to put on airs and pretend you're feeling something else. As a result, people tend to be more transparent and real. Awkward moments aren't considered uncomfortable, or even awkward. They're just moments of reality. People don't get as easily offended as they do here. I was told that it's partly due to the fact that Israelis value life, as a result of all they've been through as a people; and because of it's brevity and the fact that it is so unpredictable, people get right to the point. I really like that. Not that it gives you license to say whatever you feel like, or not care if you've offended someone-- and in no way does it excuse us from speaking in love-- but I am all for being real.
The problem with so many of us, as humans I suppose, is that we don't like being real because it involves getting in touch with the fact that we're not really "all that". Not only am I not any better than anyone else (a fantasy i think everyone has when they're comparing themselves to others that seem less "____" (fill in the blank) ), but I'm really just another weak and helpless and needy being in need of love and strength and forgiveness. In and of Mee-lissa, i can do nothing extraordinary. (I can't wait to see this reality through my newborn! He will be good at ordinary things-- like eating and excreting-- and sometimes that's about all I'm good at too).
I am beginning to enjoy embracing my weaknesses-- even though it may crush my incessant pride-- being real and honest with where I am in life and in my walk with God is much more refreshing than anything. I am finding that when I'm honest about my weaknesses, it not only refreshes me, but it is refreshing to others. I know this is true when others are real and transparent with their weaknesses. I often walk away encouraged that I'm not the only one with issues and fears and insecurities. It's humility. And it's attractive.
And I firmly believe that's the only place to be if you really want to grow. From the ground up, so to speak. You can't start building a strong foundation on top of a partially wrecked one. The ground needs to be totally level. That may mean cleaning out a lot of junk-- looking at it-- admitting that it's been there for a while-- and choosing to let it go. I think that's why God says to humble yourself before Him, and He will lift you up (James 4:10). He's the only one that can make strong the weak, rich the poor, and lovely the destitute. And I'm pretty sure He does a much better job at renovating the soul than I could on my own. Because left to myself, I will succumb to the pressures of the culture to make myself better outwardly, while the inside is still in shambles. In other words, I become a hypocrite (Matthew 23:27-28). That's really all "putting on airs" is. Pretending you're something you're not for the sake of lifting yourself up. . . picking yourself up by the bootstraps when you're down, only to find yourself less and less able to do so.
I am realizing more and more that God wants the best for me. He truly actually really genuinely loves me (ok, i'm still trying to get my heart to believe that one)-- and He has created me to be much more than a weakling who has no hope. I am a new creation--which means a whole new identity than the one with which i entered this world. Only by claiming this over myself do i find true life, true strength, and true joy.
In translation, "Melissa" really means "honey bee" -- how sweet, right? I like to think of it as God's way of saying that He's created me to be a messenger of sweetness to others-- and not my own sweetness (for those of you who know my mouth to often drip with sarcasm), but the sweetness of the One who is at work transforming my destitution into beauty. Like the honey bee, i have a job to do-- and one that I can't do on my own. A honey bee doesn't just magically "make honey"-- it is a process and an adventure-- and not one that's always fun and exciting-- but it is productive, and it's purposeful. My job is to be me-- and yet to carry the aroma of Christ to others (2 Corinthians 2:14-16), and that is the sweetest fragrance there is. It is dripping with love and compassion and hope-- things i definitely don't come by naturally, but are now MINE in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 2:1-10). Things that I want to be cultivating-- yet can only be cultivated by the work of His Spirit in my everyday life.
As I learn to be real, genuine and honest with myself, with God, and with others, I learn to be quiet and content with allowing God to be God, allowing others to be where they are in their journeys, and not demanding anything from anyone to make me happy. As I learn to crave the sweetness of His presence, rather than my own promotion, I will be able to walk in this newness of life I am destined for. By Grace Alone, may He continue the work He's begun in wee little Mee, and may it result in more and more freedom to dwell in the sweetness of true reality.
Lately I've been thinking a lot about the truth. It seems that Americans spend a lot of energy on keeping up appearances for the sake of etiquette, rather than being genuinely themselves. When I was in Israel last summer, I learned very quickly that being polite for the sake of etiquette is a concept that doesn't exist there. If you want something, you don't find a way to hint about it... you just state your preference. If you feel something, you don't try to put on airs and pretend you're feeling something else. As a result, people tend to be more transparent and real. Awkward moments aren't considered uncomfortable, or even awkward. They're just moments of reality. People don't get as easily offended as they do here. I was told that it's partly due to the fact that Israelis value life, as a result of all they've been through as a people; and because of it's brevity and the fact that it is so unpredictable, people get right to the point. I really like that. Not that it gives you license to say whatever you feel like, or not care if you've offended someone-- and in no way does it excuse us from speaking in love-- but I am all for being real.
The problem with so many of us, as humans I suppose, is that we don't like being real because it involves getting in touch with the fact that we're not really "all that". Not only am I not any better than anyone else (a fantasy i think everyone has when they're comparing themselves to others that seem less "____" (fill in the blank) ), but I'm really just another weak and helpless and needy being in need of love and strength and forgiveness. In and of Mee-lissa, i can do nothing extraordinary. (I can't wait to see this reality through my newborn! He will be good at ordinary things-- like eating and excreting-- and sometimes that's about all I'm good at too).
I am beginning to enjoy embracing my weaknesses-- even though it may crush my incessant pride-- being real and honest with where I am in life and in my walk with God is much more refreshing than anything. I am finding that when I'm honest about my weaknesses, it not only refreshes me, but it is refreshing to others. I know this is true when others are real and transparent with their weaknesses. I often walk away encouraged that I'm not the only one with issues and fears and insecurities. It's humility. And it's attractive.
And I firmly believe that's the only place to be if you really want to grow. From the ground up, so to speak. You can't start building a strong foundation on top of a partially wrecked one. The ground needs to be totally level. That may mean cleaning out a lot of junk-- looking at it-- admitting that it's been there for a while-- and choosing to let it go. I think that's why God says to humble yourself before Him, and He will lift you up (James 4:10). He's the only one that can make strong the weak, rich the poor, and lovely the destitute. And I'm pretty sure He does a much better job at renovating the soul than I could on my own. Because left to myself, I will succumb to the pressures of the culture to make myself better outwardly, while the inside is still in shambles. In other words, I become a hypocrite (Matthew 23:27-28). That's really all "putting on airs" is. Pretending you're something you're not for the sake of lifting yourself up. . . picking yourself up by the bootstraps when you're down, only to find yourself less and less able to do so.
I am realizing more and more that God wants the best for me. He truly actually really genuinely loves me (ok, i'm still trying to get my heart to believe that one)-- and He has created me to be much more than a weakling who has no hope. I am a new creation--which means a whole new identity than the one with which i entered this world. Only by claiming this over myself do i find true life, true strength, and true joy.
In translation, "Melissa" really means "honey bee" -- how sweet, right? I like to think of it as God's way of saying that He's created me to be a messenger of sweetness to others-- and not my own sweetness (for those of you who know my mouth to often drip with sarcasm), but the sweetness of the One who is at work transforming my destitution into beauty. Like the honey bee, i have a job to do-- and one that I can't do on my own. A honey bee doesn't just magically "make honey"-- it is a process and an adventure-- and not one that's always fun and exciting-- but it is productive, and it's purposeful. My job is to be me-- and yet to carry the aroma of Christ to others (2 Corinthians 2:14-16), and that is the sweetest fragrance there is. It is dripping with love and compassion and hope-- things i definitely don't come by naturally, but are now MINE in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 2:1-10). Things that I want to be cultivating-- yet can only be cultivated by the work of His Spirit in my everyday life.
As I learn to be real, genuine and honest with myself, with God, and with others, I learn to be quiet and content with allowing God to be God, allowing others to be where they are in their journeys, and not demanding anything from anyone to make me happy. As I learn to crave the sweetness of His presence, rather than my own promotion, I will be able to walk in this newness of life I am destined for. By Grace Alone, may He continue the work He's begun in wee little Mee, and may it result in more and more freedom to dwell in the sweetness of true reality.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Bird Brain
The morning we settled on our house, the former owner warned us about the sometimes loud and frequent banging we might hear coming from the windows that face the road. The same cardinal, apparently for years, has been defending his territory against.... himself. Talk about monotony! This guy really thinks he's protecting his turf! He flies from window to window attacking the handsome devil looking back at him-- perhaps because there are multiple windows, he believes there are really multiple enemies trying to take over his territory...
I guess I am like that in a lot of ways-- Einstein's definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again, thinking you're going to get a different result. I bang my head against my own world, thinking that I'm strong and courageous... when really I have no power in and of myself to change a thing. I just end up with a headache.
I wonder if there's a point where he realizes, "Oh, wait, that's ME in the window, not an intruder," and gives up. . . only to return the next day, convinced it's another bird. How often I forget the lesson I just learned, and find myself repeating the same mistakes... not trusting the God who is sovereign over my life to protect me, provide for all my needs, and even to defend me. Will I make it my mission to stake out my territory, and needlessly defend myself against perceived attacks? Or will I rest in the peace that passes understanding, even when it looks like I'm not "doing" all I think I should be doing to make it in this world?
It really would cut down on the headaches!
Here is my attempt to capture the little guy on film. It's not super great, but you'll get the visual!
Thursday, January 24, 2008
A mouse in the house...
Perhaps our squirrel assumption was a little off-- or premature--
This morning as I was getting ready for work, i began to hear noises coming from the kitchen. The rustling of plastic to be exact. I tiptoed closer, and could tell it was coming from beneath the sink. Of course I was too afraid to open the cabinet door-- as if he would jump out at me or something. :) I know it was a mouse and not a squirrel from the little "presents" he (or she) left behind. Lovely. So straight to the Giant I went to buy our first mouse traps. 2 for 86 cents. What a deal! One's now set in the attic, and one under the sink, both baited with a little bread and peanut butter... Dave felt that because that is a snack HE would prefer, it was sure to entice the mice.
Of course between my soft side for all creatures cute and furry, and my presently heightened hormones, I will probably get emotional if we actually catch them (poor little fellas)-- but not too emotional. ew.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Kick Back
The last few days Bruno has been really quiet. I have felt little movements here and there, but not a lot of profound kicking. Last night, as Dave and I lay in bed talking about our days, our little boy began to move around. I immediately put my hand on my lower stomach (where he seems to like to spend most of his awake time, using my bladder as a springboard). This may be harder to explain in writing than if I could just post a video, but I began to tap my fingers on my belly, pressing a little bit into my skin with each one, in a row, starting at my belly button... almost like you'd play a trumpet. As soon as I did so a couple of times, Bruno kicked back! It was the first time he'd responded to outside touch. It happened a couple more times, and it was beautiful! It's so amazing that he is a really little person in there-- flexing his little manly muscles-- and preparing for the rest of his life... only, his practice kicks and reflexes are not of his own might. It's not like he's able to take any credit for his development; his strengthening lungs, heart, and brain cells. God is so kind and so creative. I was watching the new National Geographic "Miracle of Life" video, and they said that it really IS a miracle that any baby makes it into the world, with all of the exactness that needs to happen developmentally, and all that can potentially go wrong.
What a privilege to house such a wondrous event!
Sunday, January 20, 2008
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