Our first trip to the ER

Amazingly enough it took over a year of being home for Kyren to contract something bad enough to send him to the ER with respiratory distress. Good old Croup. Only, there's nothing GOOD about it.
Both boys had very MILD runny noses the past few days-- like maybe a tissue here and there. no biggie. but K had been night coughing for a while, and it was starting to bother me. just a little too intense and often. i was thinking about having him looked at just for that since it seemed to slowly be getting worse.
He went to sleep in the packnplay at community group and woke up crying, snotty and coughing, with barky labored breathing around 10pm. (or maybe before, no one ever heard him :( ).
we cringed with every cough on the ride home, they sounded so painful!
i rushed him upstairs and got him nebulizing but half way through the treatment he started writhing and hyper-ventilating, and looking a little blue around the mouth.
i 'threw' him in the car and sped away, leaving dave with C. i ran a couple stop signs and as i turned onto Market St, lo and behold there was a cop car at the stop sign ahead of me. i turned on my hazards and waved out my window. he pulled over after the intersection and i pulled up beside him and asked for an escort to the ER. it was like a dream. what are the chances? i've never gotten to do that before-- ride behind flashing lights and sirens and run all the red lights while people slam on their breaks for you. it was exhilerating, terrifying, and yet all felt part of some grand plan-- like that's exactly how God wrote the story to go. i'd never been to Chester County Hospital's ER, so i wouldn't have known where the entrance was, let alone where/how to park, etc. . . so the Good Lord gave me a guide, who led me right to the entrance, let me park behind him under the portico, and then came inside w/us till we got settled and asked if he could go park my car for me. I don't believe in luck or coincidence. I know for a fact that God gave me that gift. Isn't that so KIND?
Anyway, we had a rough night. But at each scary interval of needing more meds, coming down off of the Epinephrine high, more distress, painful coughing, utter exhaustion, confusing surroundings and strange people poking and prodding at him, I kept feeling both the weight of being a parent, and the beauty of it. There were a few times I felt really alone, really tired, and a little like crying. Especially by 7am, when we'd both only slept a little here and there and K was on his 3rd breathing treatment of the night. He was not too keen on any more cool mist being shoved in his face. It dawned on me that this meant at least 3 more hours of observation (which turned into 5), and my hopes of going away on my surprise birthday trip with my husband tonight were being quickly snuffed out. i felt the tension between disappointment and guilt, and then extended grace to myself to be sad... and received grace from the Lord to be thankful for all of the wonderful birthday gifts He has given me-- a son who has been so impressively healthy this year, and who was going to be "ok". . . a husband who'd taken the day off of work ahead of time and could be with C at home, and then join me later at the hospital. . . and who will surely make it up to me with a nice rain check of some sort. Even just knowing Dave's personality would be to roll with things, and not be thrown for a loop or upset about cancelled/postponed plans or loss of money, brought comfort to my heart in that moment.
We were home by 12:30 and were able to nap peacefully for several hours.
Dave just went to pick up C and they should be arriving here shortly.
Not the plans we had in mind for birthday weekend, but i am so filled with peace as i write this-- peace that surely comes from knowing God has the best plans... and He is good ALL the time. Peace that is found not in getting what I want, but in getting what I need in the midst of rearranged schedules, in the midst of the unknown, the scary, and the not so fun. The assurance of God's Love and Goodness. Nothing can beat that! Not even a really good bed n breakfast!