we don't use our baby monitor since our bedrooms are all right next to each other, and since my ears are always awake. i hear every rustle and grunt my children make... and i find myself instantly ready to jump out of bed at any given moment of the night... definitely not a character quality i possessed B.C. (before children).
we celebrated the upcoming arrival of little Isaac Kristopher yesterday at Toni's shower. we got to share all of our 'motherly' advice with the Momma to be, and it was really cool to hear all of the other moms (some new, some seasoned) share how being a mom has changed their lives. it really is like a big society or club of some sort. whenever someone shared something, everyone else nodded or laughed in agreement. it is a role we all have just 'grown in to', and when you begin to share with someone who's about to enter it, you remember what it was like to be on that verge... of the rest of your life. and even though i've only been at it for 2 years (this week!!), i find myself to be such a different person. there is something about motherhood that instantly matures you, enhances your gifts, and demands your full attention in a way you can't describe.
with the upcoming celebration of my own baby's birth on thursday, i am hoping to take time to write him a birthday letter. he has changed my world more in his 2 short years of life than i could have imagined. i love him so intensely, and each day i marvel at how i can become MORE enamored with one individual. i cry easily at the thought of him being taken away from me. and i wonder how anyone ever survives such a loss. he is so precious and full of life, and i pray constantly for him to live a long and healthy life. he is growing up so fast... as the cliche goes. i can feel his babyhood drifting away, and every time he lets me scoop him up and hold him close, i squeeze him as hard as i can, and as long as he'll let me, trying to absorb something of his sweet littleness, as it quickly fades into bigness. i came home from the shower yesterday, and i could swear he grew while i was gone. literally. he looked different. sounded older. i'm not kidding...
he said some of the cutest things yesterday too. i tried to write a couple of them down, so as not to forget. even those moments, i try so hard to imprint in my brain, to take a mental photograph that i can go back to years from now and relive. sitting in his carseat on the way to church, he had his eyes shut tightly due to the bright sunlight pouring in his window. "Where's Christian?" i heard him say, as he often does when he's playing peekaboo. i echoed his question, and he opened his eyes, squinting from the brightness. "I was hidin'..... From the sun....... From the bright!"
ahhh, these precious moments. so fleeting and so sweet.
let's hold them very near, moms.
and in those sleepless moments, recall the precious ones, and count them as sweet dreams.
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